Pages

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Planning, Love/Hate Relationship

Once upon a time several years ago I had this grand dream of getting my Doctorate. I was very ambitious and ready to become an independent woman with several levels of degree awesomeness in hand. Then one day this guy came back into my life. He pretty much swept me off my feet. (Cheesy, lame, cliche, but it happened). Out through the window went the Dr. Mallory plan. Then I didn't really have time to make a new plan...... Ok lets be honest the only "plan" going on in my head had to do with a ring, a dress, and a new relationship status on Facebook (kidding). Then my wildest dreams came true (Thanks Pedro and Napoleon. Yes I just referred to a movie that was only cool for like three months.) We got married. Then I realized I needed a new plan.

Here is a hypothetical conversation from my head. Ok Mallory let's be honest here. You are awesome but realistically 8 more years of school probably isn't going to happen. Don't you want a family, a house, a job without two houses worth of student loans? So then I said to myself, Hey how about you just get your Master's degree. You kind of need it anyways if you want any chance at making enough money to feed your husband and 1 hypothetical child. You already are a good student and whipped through college in three years what's three more years on top that?

So now you know how I got to my current plan that I am trying to fully execute. The thing with plans well my plans at least is that they pretty much never work the way they are supposed to. Somehow, somewhere, someone likes to throw things into the mix. Then I have to do more planning of plans that I will probably never see the full fruitation of.

Marriage seems to make choice a bit more difficult. Instead of just considering my different options in life and how to plan them out I now have to plan for two people and maybe up to 12. (yeah..... (9 kids..... and a dog)......... right). Trevor I think perhaps enjoys the fact that I am slightly (*cough* we can only hope) crazy... about planning things out. He probably just enjoys the entertainment but i will pretend that he enjoys having me plan out both of our lives so he doesn't have to worry about it.

Anyways holy cow that all brings me back to what I originally was going to write this post about. SCHOOL. dun dun DUN. I LOVE it!!!!! It is so nice to be so entirely focused on stuff that is completely applicable to my career choice. I sit through four hour classes and actually can pay attention THE entire time! (Except for my current class due to a teacher that resembles Dolores Umbridge (Harry Potter) in every way) Everything I am learning is really fascinating and I can see it in my own life and see how it will help my future client's. Sometimes I will get really excited about random things I have learned in class such as the stages of mental development. The next time I see a  "everyday regular person" in my life, which is usually Trevor, I will say Oh this is random but it is so cool and I have to tell someone! Then I will proceed to tell said person all about that random thing that they probably aren't very interested in. Yes I am and nerd and Yes that is how much I love school. Oh how nice it is to be in a place where I know who I am and where I am going.

I HATE it!!!!! Every single Monday without fail I tell Trevor I am going to quit. The reason is because I have a paper due the next day and have yet to write a sentence. I confess I am a hardcore procrastinator. So hardcore I have actually developed the awesome power of actually being good at it. It's Tuesday at 3pm. I have a 3 page paper on moral development due at 6pm. I have to also drive to PG in that time slot. No problem. I will whip the paper up and have time to spare to eat, do some dishes and check my Facebook. Currently I have a 6 page paper waiting to be written by Tuesday at 6. I haven't even thought of a title. That will be putting a bit of pressure on my procrastination skills. I am not bragging. This is all a confession.

I also don't like school because it gets in the way of my planning. I have to plan for my work and school schedule and Trevor's work and school schedule and divide that by one car. I also have to plan for a new job (crossing of body parts) and eventually an internship. Sometimes people try to plan for me. In the culture bubble that is Utah it is almost expected that after a sufficient amount of time (1 month up to 2 years) being married you should introduce everyone to your new bundle of joy.  I was asked several times within months of marriage, by not a "everyday regular person" but by different somebodies "I kind of have known for years but not really" when we would be starting a family. Nunya.  A small human being takes planning. Lots of planning. It, being the small human, also takes lots of time being taken care of. We do not have that time. I do not have that sanity (yet?). Honestly, my mom bought me two housewarming plants when we moved into our house, I can barely keep them alive. And all I have to do for those is give them sunlight and water. I think it is best for the sake of a human life to stay away from planning that life altering decision into my life just yet.

Okay this is officially the longest post on my blog yet. It kind of makes up for the short posts and lack there of.